The Grinch in Cambodia: Evidence Donielle Does Nice Things for People

You probably wouldn't know it by first sight but the Grinch and I have several similarities. When I am angry I can feel my skin turn from its milky whiteness to a mildew green not so unlike Dr. Suess' forested creation. We also both seemingly hate children and well...most people. I am more civilized, however, I do not yell the names of my most despised at the top of my lungs from the boundless heights of a mountain. I do it with a red marker in my old yearbooks, making devil eyes, giving fangs and creating outer monsters of the inner evil. Together we could kill game with our glares, eyebrows furrowed, mouth arched like that sculpture in Missouri and forehead resembling those pitiful wrinkles of a Shar Pai pup; our partnered "bitch face" becoming the #1 example in how to lose friends and alienate people. Donielle & the Grinch, what a team.

We also both like crafts.

But you probably never would have guessed, that our hearts, as well, are all too similar. I know this because like the Grinch whose heart grew (3 sizes, you remember?)  right before he almost ruined Christmas (Christmas to pronounced as "chrisshtmas" lisped by Cindy Lou Who for heartwarming effect) for Whoville his heart stung with the pain of a growth spurt.

I, too, have experienced this organ's uprise, its expanding waistline almost crippled me on a recent trip to Cambodia. I was so nice I was sure the Antichrist's hand was going to reach from the hell to clutch and shake me, "What have you done with Donielle, we had such high (or low) hopes for you!"

The best news is that I have proof of all my activities where I was a nice person. This way if I get called at the pearled gates of heaven (hopefully they'll have better customer service than down here), I'll be sure to get into a great neighborhood with high property value, also don't forget my 72 virgins.

 Evidence Donielle Does Nice Things For People:
 (don't say I never did)

Donielle playing games with children

Donielle being nice to babies

Donielle being nice to kittens

Donielle & friends teaching some English

Donielle & Friends passing out clothing 

Donielle being nice to children
Photo Credit: Sarah Brown

I was so nice to these kids I let them put Tarantulas on me!!! Would Mother Theresa do that? I don't think she would.
Good Deed Score; Donielle: 1 Mother Theresa: 5,000 Let's hear it for the underdog!
Photo Credit: Sarah Brown

WHOA I'M TIRED.

Evidence People Do Nice Things For Donielle:

Just might have to do some crossing off

We met some amazing Khmer people who showed us true kindness and hospitality. It was they who fed my heart with hopes for humanity. The Khmer culture is strong and with perseverance and love they are rebuilding their country.

This is our driver who got up with us every morning at 5:00am to watch the sunrise with us! We love him!
Photo Credit: Sarah Brown

He even took us to a local market and has us try non-touristy delicious food!

This is our friend Sarann who took us everywhere and introduced us to a lot of Khmer culture!

When the taxi got a flat tire his fun and lively personality helped us get through it!

I feel honored just to have stood in the presence of such an awesome person.
Here is a local villager and her pet tarantula. 

Some locals in Phomn Pehn asked us to play volleyball with them by the river, so fun!
Photo Credit: Sarah Brown

Our Saviors: We were dropped off at the wrong place by a local bus where we proceeded to hitch hike (very literally) down to the center of town. These very nice people picked up three white girls with backpacks bigger than their bodies on the side of the road and proceeded to help us find this illusive home stay. He got us on the right bus and even called the home stay the next day to make sure we got there safely!
Here he is on the phone with a friend who spoke english and was helping translate.
Photo Credit: Sarah Brown

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” 
― Aesop

Bad Luck in Paradise: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

We all have streaks of bad luck, right? Those days that every little thing that could have gone wrong in some odd way really does go wrong? Where the world tests our strengths and leaves us sobbing in front of strangers, crying for our misfortune and then crying because we're sobbing in front of strangers about our misfortune. You see where I am going with this? Picture a lot of crying and sobbing.

The GOOD: In Paradise

1.  Diving in Mabul, top rated diving site in the world
2.  Meeting awesome people and new friends
3.  The beach
4.  The wildlife

I am having a wonderful time diving off Mabul and Semporna, Malaysia. I just finished my PADI Open Water Diving Course and am now diving in one of the top places in the world for marine life, I have seen turtles, incredible fish, stingrays, octopus and sea snakes! I have met awesome people and am loving every minute of it. I am happy to be stuck, right here, in paradise.

Mabul Island, Malaysia

The crazy clear water!

Some trekking in the jungle! 

The new friend I was telling you about

The BAD: Wildlife hates Donielle

1.  Mosquitos (I use a tube of anti-itch cream a day)
2.  Bed Bugs (yep.)
3.  Leaches 

4. Devil Scorpion Fish

My new boyfriend, anything that touches me so gently should be awarded the title

"It’s called the Devilfish (Inimicus didactylus), complete with dorsal javelins in place of fins; pelvic fins that have evolved into a two-pronged garden rake (used for locomotion on the seabed) and a skeletal face that exudes total evil, if a fish were possible of such emotions." Scorpionfish: The World's Most Venomous Fish

While coming down to begin a dive I hit the devilfishes' needle raked back. It was just a tiny sting but I was rushed out of the water. I wasn't crying until they had to pour scalding water over the sting every 10 minutes to cook the venomous fibers and prevent spread. It was incredible pain but I know it could have been much worse! Yay for Donielle crying in front of strangers!

The UGLY: How to go 2 months with $35

1.  You don't 
2.  You call mom (preferably crying)
3.  You call all your banks (preferably crying)
4.  You look pitiful (preferably crying) and people help you

So the ATM machine at Bank Islam ate my debit card, gone just like that, without warning. My travel plans were devoured with that plastic card and I am stuck until next week when I can get my finances up and running again. I guess I'll have to lay out on the beach for the next 5 days! 

Realizing I don't have many profitable skills...

Send your good luck my way? 

Do's and Dont's of Thailand: The Fun & Factual

DO....wear weird hair ties!
Is it the same size as your head?
Does it have frills or large tassels?
Is is heavy enough to make your neck strain?
Is it a stuffed animal?
THEN PUT IT IN YOUR HAIR!

No, this is completely inappropriate.

Yes.

DON'T...step on coins!
Have you heard about the strict lese majeste laws in Thailand? Do not disrespect the king!
The coins have the king's face on them, if you step on a rolling coin you will feel liquid hatred burning from the Thais' eyes around you.

DO...understand Kathoey culture!
Thailand's third gender shows the world that gender and sexual orientation are not the same. Embrace the transgender and admire their unique way of life.

DON'T...drink Sang Som! 
...if you want to do anything productive the next two days. Locals mix this rice whiskey with soda water in preparation of the bat-shit crazy night they are about to have. You think that red wine hangover was bad? Sang Som will obliterate you right after it gives you the most fun night of your life.

DO...draw eyebrows on your dog!
Please, please, please do this! I have never laughed harder in my life than seeing the dogs in Thailand with eyebrows drawn on! I might start an non-profit where we feed and care for the dogs with the condition that they must have eyebrows. Uni-brows get VIP treatment.

DON'T...touch the monks!
Ladies, I know the first thing you'll want to do when you see an 80-year old monk in his wittle glasses and that soft belly poking from his orange robes will be to hug him. I know, I did too. But you can't, no touching the monks. Also wear below the knee pants or skirts and keep those shoulders covered, he has more important things to meditate on then your sexy skin!

DO...wine buffet!
I'm pretty sure our USAC group has been to every wine buffet offered in Chiang Mai. And as the red or white liquid of the gods starts flowing through the veins just remember Thai's use inside voices outside too.

DON'T...assume traffic will stop!
Pedestrian, smedestrian. Crosswalk, schmasawalk. You don't have right-away! Who does, you might ask? We still don't know...we aren't sure anyone knows!

Biggest bully on the road wins...don't mess with these kids!

DO...speak Thai-lish!
Even if you can pull out a little bit of Thai the people will respect you for trying! Over achiever? Wow Thai strangers with this this tongue twister!

 A big demon chased a small giant; a small giant chased a big demon.

ยักษ์ใหญ่ไล่ยักษ์เล็กÂ  ยักษ์เล็กไล่ยักษ์ใหญ่.

Yak yai lai yak lek; yak lek lai yak yai.

DON'T...get too flirty with Thai men!
Thai men aren't used to the forward flirting habits of Americans. So when you are dancing with Thai's (which will be rare since Thai's don't dance) and you've been drinking and getting rowdy, and someone pulls out a camera to take a picture and you thought you'd enjoy the limelight by landing a smooch on his cheek. Know that you are now married. That smooch skipped Thai courtship and brought you to nuptials. Congratulations (and people said you'd never land a fella!)

oops!

DO...not worry, Mai Pen Rai! 
See what I did there? hehe
Follow the common mantra here in Thailand, "Mai Pen Rai!" "Never mind, no worries, it's alright".
Really, it will all be ok.

The 15 Oddest Things in Thailand (You'd NEVER guess!)

Living in Thailand has given me some insight into the culture that you just wouldn't see if you were traveling through or staying only in the tourist part of town. This list composes all the weird things I've seen since I've been here! Not weird as in bad not weird as in better, just weird and different and awesome! 

1. Gangman Style

While Americans are looking to Europe for fashion and hit list advice, Thailand is looking toward Korea! Thai's love the beautiful Koreans that cover their magazines, television and advertisements! When this song comes on THEY GO CRAZY! (crazier than the US) They love it!! Watch out, they have memorized the dance moves.

2. Power Lines

Steps to plug your tv in:

1. No need to call the electric company

2. Just buy a cord

3. Climb to the top of the pole

4. Wrap it around another wire

5. When you're done with your tv, don't worry, just leave the cord there. Sooner or later it will fall down on its own. 

The tangled mess of power lines!

3. Tuk Tuks

Thai's know that these little cars aren't just for kids! Want to feel like Mario everyday? They've even added a motor so you no longer have to peddle with your feet! 

4. Sugar in Everything!

We've gotten used to asking for no sugar in our coffee, fruit shakes, tea, pad thai and pretty much everything else! Thai's have a REAL sweet tooth, they seem to think if its not drowning in sugar its not edible! No sugar? Do you want sugar water? Syrup? Condensed Milk? NOOO! You're killing me..

Thai Tea-the sugariest of them all!!

5. Whitening Cream

I scramble every summer to look tanner than my friends by the time school starts. Sun! Sun! Sun!

In Thailand, stores are full of whitening cream to lighten their dark skin! 

Before & After, you'd never see that in the states!

6. Bugs are bugs...

Ants, Cockroaches and unknown mutant bugs OH MY! Thailand has a lot of bugs but Thai's don't seem to notice them, no big deal. Ants in your food? Protein. The more the merrier. Cockroach by your foot? Move. No screaming, no running, just a bug. 

Can't beat them? Eat em'!!

Fried bugs on sale everywhere, not just for tourists!

I tried some fried bamboo worms, not bad! 

7. The Night Comes Alive

The streets of Thailand undergo a unique transformation unlike anywhere I've ever traveled. During the day the streets will be empty, maybe a vendor here or there selling meat on a stick. But at night the streets are lined with food vendors and retailers of endless variety. In Bangkok you'll see the mobile bars that line the streets and in Chiang Mai you can enjoy the night markets and trendy shops that are only open when the sun goes down!

The night market in Chiang Mai

VW bus Mobile Bar in Bangkok

8. Breakfast food..What breakfast food?

There are certain things that American's eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Thai's eat fried meat, rice or some combination of the two. Maybe a ham or tuna sandwich. 

I miss designated breakfast food.

Not breakfast food.

9. Fruit Banned from Buildings: 

Durian, the worst smell ever.

The native Durian fruit that grows around Thailand is banned from most hotels, public transportation and shared buildings. From wikipedia; "The smell evokes reactions from deep appreciation to intense disgust, and has been described variously as rotten onions, turpentine, raw sewage, and smelly socks."

10. Gruesome Pictures in Thai Newspapers

Normally, US Newspapers don't show pictures of dead people. It's disturbing and although we know someone died, we don't like to see it. A blanket over their face will suffice but not in Thailand. In order to sell copies, Thai newspapers like to show everything. No censorship here! Although on T.V they blur out guns and weapons. 

11. Squatter Toilets

Do you know what a squatter toilet is??? Always a fun experience the first time you use it! Thai's love squatter toilets soo much that businesses have to put up these signs! So oppressive...

12. Asian Gnomes

I love these little guys and have collected quite the photo album of Asian Gnomes. Which one would you put by your front door?

Oops..that's not a gnome..just a cute kid, wow those gnomes are crazy accurate.

13. 5555 hahahah

As Spaniards type JaJaJaJa (because J makes the "h" sound), Thai's just type 5555 since 5 is pronounced "ha"!

14. Lilo & Stitch, no screw Lilo, just Stitch.

Do you remember Lilo & Stitch that disney movie about the little Hawaiian girl and that weird blue bat/sloth monster thing that ate everything? Thailand is obsessed! We see Stitch everywhere. We once counted the amount of Stitch themed items in a bus in southern Thailand. Thirteen! Clipboards, stickers, more stickers, bookmarks, notebooks, keychains. I don't get it! Plus Lilo is nowhere to be found, apparently they don't like Lilo...she was obnoxious, but so is that Stitch hat. I guarantee that is not for halloween but for daily wear. Thai's are into that.

15. Thailand, Land of Smiles..you mean Selfies

Selfie: A picture taken of yourself that is planned to be uploaded to Facebook or any other sort of social networking website. You can usually see the person's arm holding out the camera in which case you can clearly tell that this person does not have any friends to take pictures of them. A selfie is usually accompanied by a kissy face or the individual looking in a direction that is not towards the camera

-by Urban Dictionary.

Thai's seems to always be taking pictures of themselves mostly in ridiculous places that no one should care about. Getting in the taxi...Selfie! Sitting down to eat....Selfie! Bought coffee...Selfie! Smiling....Selfie! Walking...Selfie! Standing...Selfie! Sleeping...Selfie! 

It takes ALL of my willpower not to photobomb....but they pushed me too far...