What would a cultural experience be without the horrific blunders that often pair with a study abroad? Well, after three months traveling I have racked up quite a list of these embarrassing bloopers. I've picked my top 5 to share with my loyal readers whom I hope will find enjoyment and a laugh.
1. How to scare the S@#T out of the worker at a smoothie stand:
Many people don't know that Thai is a tonal language meaning there are many words that are spelled very similar but changing the inflection of a word can vastly change the meaning of the word.
I learned very quickly that the word for penis and the word for banana are WAY TO CLOSE!!!
So when I asked the nice lady "Aw khuay pan ka?" May I have a BANANA shake? SHE HEARD "May I have a penis shake." Her stunned face and the snickers behind me followed one of the most embarrassing moments of my life!
Round of applause for Donielle. Way to make everyone uncomfortable!
2. How to make the maids think you're an alien (or an octopus):
I like to journal at night and try to write something everyday. One night after a long night out on the town with friends I stumbled into my room when I realized I hadn't written anything for that day. I grab my new ink pen and my notebook and jotted down a few lines before I seemingly passed out, pen and notebook in hand.
I woke up late and hurriedly got ready for a 9am class (yes, that is early for me). I was making my way out the door and down the street when a friend saw me and asked me if I got a tattoo on my thigh. I looked down and saw a black-blueish mark about 12 inches long down the back of my leg. It seriously looked like I had peed black down my leg. Flustered, I went home to change and realized my ink pen had exploded all over my bed. Right. By. My. Butt.
I'm sure the maids now think I am some Alien who pees black ink. Maybe that's why they avoid me in the halls now.
3. OUCH!
My friends and I have been exploring on motorbikes for the past two months. I feel safe driving but accidents happen, no really, they happen all the time. I don't know anyone here who doesn't have a little mishap with a bike. They can be serious like ending up bruised and broken after hitting a parked car and fumbling over 10 bikes (all while not wearing a helmet) to leaving the keys in the ignition for three hours and having to tow it to a garage just to have them kickstart it for you!! But none of my study abroad group is without a little killjoy accident.
Mine wasn't too bad but it sure did LOOK bad. Basically I parked my bike at school too close to another bike. When I got off I put my foot down and my leg stood against the hot engine of the bike next to me. At first is wasn't bad but then it turned into a gnarly blister that I now show my friends to watch their faces say "ewww..." It's personal enjoyment that I must share with the world.
4. Getting lost is something that goes hand in hand with traveling. It's even more fun on the first day of school when you take the wrong shuttle! Of course when this happens its easy to get off at the next stop and walk or find the right shuttle but when the driver speaks only Thai and we speak only English we didn't know where we were going! Every few seconds...maybe we should get off...maybe he's going to pull around back up to the humanities building....maybe we should get off and ask...we could walk from here....maybe if we keep talking someone on the shuttle will speak english and offer help...at least we are seeing campus...at least we are together...should we still go to class....its been 30 minutes...ok we should get off...let's get off...tell him to stop...we'll ask someone...oh god....we are on the other side of campus...we are never getting back...now what?
We made it to class...only 45 minutes late...nice....
5. ALWAYS WEAR SPANKIES, ALWAYS.
It was a beautiful morning when I got dressed and left my apartment to start the thirty minute walk to school. I plugged in my earphones and started listening to the peaceful sounds of my favorite artist. With a hop in my step and upturned lips I put my sun glasses on and enjoyed the morning air. I wore my backpack and I felt a beautiful breeze, which looking back now, should have seemed odd. I walked down the long street and crossed the main road, traffic zooming with cars, motorcycles and taxis. After about 15 minutes of walking I passed the coffee shops and turned at the old clock tower. A motorbike passed holding three young boys who laughed and pointed in my direction. Strange, I thought. My white skin stands out but I cannot help that I am tall and western, I cannot hide it. I thought the boys actions towards me very rude but tried to brush off their mocking. I concentrated on my music, turned up the volume, breathed deep and continued to class. I walked for another 10 or so minutes passed the Economics building where students were parked and talking, the Sociology building and the Mathematics building.
It wasn't until I got to the student store that a girl on a motorbike stopped close to me and called to me. I took out my earphones as she exclaimed, "YOUR SKIRT, YOUR SKIRT!" I looked down as she rushed to pull the back of my skirt out of my spandex shorts. I HAD WALKED 30 MINUTES WITH MY SKIRT IN MY SPANKIES!!!! My bright blue spankies. People may have been yelling at me but I was wearing my HEADPHONES!! I was so embarrassed and walked flushed to class not even having friends to share in my experience. Mortified. I have never been so happy for spankies in my life. If it had just been my underwear it would have been a completely different story, I could have gotten arrested for indecent exposure! Although at least someone would have stopped me sooner, even if it was a policeman!
Great Donielle. Great. Smooth.
1. How to scare the S@#T out of the worker at a smoothie stand:
 |
| Did you really just order that? |
Many people don't know that Thai is a tonal language meaning there are many words that are spelled very similar but changing the inflection of a word can vastly change the meaning of the word.
I learned very quickly that the word for penis and the word for banana are WAY TO CLOSE!!!
gluayF | noun | [general] banana, genus Musa |
| khuayM | colloquial, vulgar | [extremely vulgar word for penis used typically by Thai males in cursing another male irritator] |
So when I asked the nice lady "Aw khuay pan ka?" May I have a BANANA shake? SHE HEARD "May I have a penis shake." Her stunned face and the snickers behind me followed one of the most embarrassing moments of my life!
Round of applause for Donielle. Way to make everyone uncomfortable!
2. How to make the maids think you're an alien (or an octopus):
 |
| Awww...you guys made me ink!!! |
I woke up late and hurriedly got ready for a 9am class (yes, that is early for me). I was making my way out the door and down the street when a friend saw me and asked me if I got a tattoo on my thigh. I looked down and saw a black-blueish mark about 12 inches long down the back of my leg. It seriously looked like I had peed black down my leg. Flustered, I went home to change and realized my ink pen had exploded all over my bed. Right. By. My. Butt.
I'm sure the maids now think I am some Alien who pees black ink. Maybe that's why they avoid me in the halls now.
3. OUCH!
My friends and I have been exploring on motorbikes for the past two months. I feel safe driving but accidents happen, no really, they happen all the time. I don't know anyone here who doesn't have a little mishap with a bike. They can be serious like ending up bruised and broken after hitting a parked car and fumbling over 10 bikes (all while not wearing a helmet) to leaving the keys in the ignition for three hours and having to tow it to a garage just to have them kickstart it for you!! But none of my study abroad group is without a little killjoy accident.
Mine wasn't too bad but it sure did LOOK bad. Basically I parked my bike at school too close to another bike. When I got off I put my foot down and my leg stood against the hot engine of the bike next to me. At first is wasn't bad but then it turned into a gnarly blister that I now show my friends to watch their faces say "ewww..." It's personal enjoyment that I must share with the world.
 |
| That thing! |
=
 |
| Bart the Blister |
4. Getting lost is something that goes hand in hand with traveling. It's even more fun on the first day of school when you take the wrong shuttle! Of course when this happens its easy to get off at the next stop and walk or find the right shuttle but when the driver speaks only Thai and we speak only English we didn't know where we were going! Every few seconds...maybe we should get off...maybe he's going to pull around back up to the humanities building....maybe we should get off and ask...we could walk from here....maybe if we keep talking someone on the shuttle will speak english and offer help...at least we are seeing campus...at least we are together...should we still go to class....its been 30 minutes...ok we should get off...let's get off...tell him to stop...we'll ask someone...oh god....we are on the other side of campus...we are never getting back...now what?
We made it to class...only 45 minutes late...nice....
5. ALWAYS WEAR SPANKIES, ALWAYS.
It was a beautiful morning when I got dressed and left my apartment to start the thirty minute walk to school. I plugged in my earphones and started listening to the peaceful sounds of my favorite artist. With a hop in my step and upturned lips I put my sun glasses on and enjoyed the morning air. I wore my backpack and I felt a beautiful breeze, which looking back now, should have seemed odd. I walked down the long street and crossed the main road, traffic zooming with cars, motorcycles and taxis. After about 15 minutes of walking I passed the coffee shops and turned at the old clock tower. A motorbike passed holding three young boys who laughed and pointed in my direction. Strange, I thought. My white skin stands out but I cannot help that I am tall and western, I cannot hide it. I thought the boys actions towards me very rude but tried to brush off their mocking. I concentrated on my music, turned up the volume, breathed deep and continued to class. I walked for another 10 or so minutes passed the Economics building where students were parked and talking, the Sociology building and the Mathematics building.
 |
| Donielle walking to school with her skirt worn correctly.... |
Great Donielle. Great. Smooth.
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